From 1971 until 1995, McDonalds used the slogan, “You deserve a break today.” This slogan helped catapult the fast-food maker to burger dominance because it struck a nerve with adults who felt busy and run-down. This was their permission to take a much-needed and well-deserved break from their day and treat themselves.
If you are an introvert reading this, you likely feel most rundown when you are around people, especially large groups of people, even more especially when you are around a large group of unknown people. One of our Pastors, we’ll call him Rick, because that’s his name. Rick is an extrovert; he may just be on the equal opposite side of the extroverted spectrum from me. When Rick sees 200 people in our foyer at church, he sees 200 new friends to meet. When I look at that exact same group of people, I see 200 people asking, “How was your week?” and “This weather, hey?” It’s exhausting; I don’t want to talk about meaningless things.
Introverts have a smaller social battery, and we get “peopled out” much quicker than our extroverted friends. If you haven’t read Brian Little’s Me, Myself, and Us, I highly recommend it. If you’re looking for a shorter, more concise read that gives the same major points, grab Who Are You, Really? Little was voted “Favourite Professor” for three consecutive years by the graduating class at Harvard and has an impeccable resume. Surprisingly, the animated and engaging professor, whose Harvard classes had unending waitlists, is one of us; he’s an introvert.
One way Dr. Little maintained his energy and engaging style was because of mini-retreats he called “restorative niches.” Little said that during the break in a lecture, he would take a break, find a restorative niche, and regain some energy and mental focus. These aren’t long, elaborate siestas; these were breaks from people and the accompanying chit-chat. He would hide away in his office, a broom closet, or even a restroom. It’s important to know your own engagement capacity and social battery levels. When you feel that you’re running low and know you need to be present and engaging for some time, finding your restorative niche may be a lifeline.
Go for a walk. When I was on campus for my Doctor of Ministry courses, I would find my social battery tanking. I needed a break, but I knew we had another 4 or 5 hours of class time remaining. During our coffee and lunch breaks, while many other students refilled their coffees and discussed the morning’s lectures, I explored the beautiful campus of Trinity Western University in Langley, BC. These 10- or 20-minute walks cleared my mind, helped me process the lecture I had just listened to and allowed me to reflect on my own. I returned energized and ready to engage for the next session.
Maybe you are like me, and more than once, you’ve found refuge in the restroom. Sometimes, you may find yourself at a conference, too far to return to your hotel room, too many people to find a quiet bench to enjoy a coffee and read a chapter of your current book (or scroll on your phone; this is a judgement-free zone!) So you have mapped out the conference center and found a single-person restroom tucked away in a quiet corner on the third floor of the conference center. Take those 5 or 10 minutes to collect your thoughts and reflect.
Do you practice restorative niches? Where are your favourite places to go?
The Introverted Pastor 