Tag: church

Are you in a Barren or Bearing Season?

joshLeave a comment

Do you realize that the answer to this question may have everything to do with your attitude toward the season you’re in? It’s easy to bear fruit when life is good, ministry is healthy, and God’s favour is palpable. But can you continue to bear fruit during a “dark night of the soul” kind of season?

I was “let go” from a ministry position in 2011. After two years of struggle and challenge, the church saw its future best without me. It’s true, we had a difference in philosophy of ministry. The larger issue, I have come to believe after years of reflection, is that I was the wrong personality fit. I was an introvert working with 7 extroverted pastors, and I didn’t have the tools at the time to address the misaligned expectations and communication gaps.

During the interim, I still needed to put food on the table for my family. While I struggled to find another ministry position, I took a job in construction.

I was bitter because this was below me.

That was my attitude. I would ask God, Why am I here? Haven’t I served you well? Don’t I deserve a ministry position? I am the most educated person here, but I am at the bottom of the hierarchy! Lord, why have You forsaken me? Why are pastors with less education and less experience getting hired over me?

I was focused solely on myself and what had been taken from me. It wasn’t a healthy place mentally, and when I slowed down to listen to God, He started gently correcting me. He helped me be thankful that we never missed a mortgage payment or even a meal. I was thankful to have the support of my amazing wife. I was thankful to have the opportunity to provide pulpit supply at the church we began attending. There were countless ways that God was blessing us, but I was missing it because I was only focused on what I had lost.

Then came the big question: God, I have been called to pastoral ministry, why have you kept me from my calling?

The answer: You are still a pastor, your church just looks different.

God was clear: if I am called to be a pastor, then I can fulfill that calling, even while building houses. So I made the mental shift and told God, Okay, I will build houses for free, and they will pay me to be their staff pastor. Of course, I didn’t announce that to my foreman, but that shift in attitude changed everything. I went from a pitiful, barren season to a beautiful bearing season.

Let’s be honest, our feelings are not a switch that we can simply turn on or off. Writing about changing my attitude was much simpler than the actual process, but I want to encourage you to do the difficult work.

1. Admit Your Feelings of Self-Pity

Perhaps it’s not even self-pity; maybe it’s something stronger, maybe not quite that strong, but you know your attitude is not helping you. We can’t deal with the problem until we admit there is a problem. If you feel you are in a barren season but you’re not sure why, ask God to reveal it to you.

2. Give it to God

I know, I know, it’s super cliche. That doesn’t make it any less true. I wrote above that I simply made a mental shift, but it wasn’t just about convincing myself that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I had to give my concerns and anger and pride and every other negative feeling to God. He heard my lament and my accusations and my cry for help.

3. Repent of Sin

The Father lovingly revealed to me that I was deep in pride. Funny, isn’t it, that my loss of self-worth was rooted in my pride? So I began the process of repenting, turning away from sin and toward God. It wasn’t quick nor easy, but it was so good. This is the kind of work the Holy Spirit will do in us when we humble ourselves and allow Him to speak into our lives.

4. Walk it Out

This is the tough part.

Why?

Because I had the same construction job. My circumstances hadn’t changed, and my reputation hadn’t revived. It can be difficult to change your attitude when none of the things that brought you to that place have changed. Paul, who wrote those inspiring words, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” was writing from a place of physical stuck-ness, but spiritually victorious. And while we are in desert seasons, we too can bear much fruit, and fruit that will last, through Christ who gives us strength.

You May Be Your Own Best Advocate

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The Background

For most of my twelve years at my current church, I’ve worked with relatively loose oversight in a mid-sized congregation of about 150 people, supported by two full-time and five part-time staff. We lacked official policies, HR, and often clear job descriptions.

Over the past twelve years, we’ve partnered with Church Renewal (CR). If you’re unfamiliar, it’s not a traditional church growth strategy, though we’ve experienced numeric growth. It focuses on helping pastors and leaders abide in Christ faithfully and teach renewal practices to their congregations. This isn’t a pitch for CR, just context. During this time, we also moved to a larger facility and have grown to approximately 600 attendees on Sundays with an expanded staff, including four full-time and ten part-time members.

With this growth, leaders are now focusing on policies, procedures, and HR needs. Staff have updated job descriptions and clarified responsibilities. Recently, we discussed which events are mandatory for staff, pastoral staff, encouraged, or optional.

The Lesson

Before diving into the background, the main lesson I’ve learned is that advocating for yourself—especially as an introverted leader—is critical for thriving over the long haul. Don’t stay quiet and simply adapt; learning to voice your needs shapes a healthier work environment for everyone.

Why?

We don’t like confrontation and are often the lone dissenting voice in meetings, so we usually keep it to ourselves. We prefer to think out our responses, so if a topic arises unexpectedly, we haven’t had time to process. We want to analyze: Is making events mandatory reasonable? What will it cost personally?

The Answer

My doctoral research revealed that one of the key indicators of remaining healthy in leadership over the long haul is having an advocate, and often that means you need to advocate for yourself.

During that meeting, I held back my words while I processed my thoughts. I shared a little: like the fact that some of us do not work office hours, but are in the building already 3 nights, so that’s worth considering when we make events mandatory. It’s also different for employees with young children than it is for those who are empty-nesters.

After the meeting, I followed up with our senior pastor; actually, he followed up with me. And I had some time to reflect further on it. In the safety of a closed discussion with my pastor, I was able to better advocate for myself and others on staff who have different hours and home situations.

Why it works

There’s no audience to jump in and interrupt me or devalue my perspective. I’m sure that other staffers don’t mean to devalue my input, but when they quickly cut me off or tell me outright it’s not valid, it teaches me to speak less.

I’ve also had time to sort out my emotions so that I can share my thoughts free from the emotions that are negatively tied back to a past position. In my previous position, I was expected to put in over sixty hours every week as a minimum. They justified it by saying everyone volunteers, so pastors ought to give their forty paid hours and then volunteer above and beyond. I agree with this, but not to the tune of 20-30 hours a week.

Can you think of a time that you felt steamrolled in a meeting and frustrated? There are strategies to slow down meetings or, as in this instance, circle back later one-on-one to freely give thoughtful input.

The truth is, introverts are often more thoughtful and slower to respond, which means our feedback is often worth listening to. If you are an introvert, consider discussing with your leadership the possibility of slowing down meetings. Help them to understand your need for space in the meeting to process before sharing. Help them pay attention to not only the quantity of words shared at meetings, but also the quality. Request an agenda in advance so you can prepare your thoughts before the meeting. Ask for follow up meetings; they don’t have to be long, but just take the opportunity to debrief quickly when necessary.

If you are an extroverted leader, intentionally create space for introverts to share by inviting their input, encouraging reflection, and following up for their feedback. Actively choose to foster a culture where all voices are valued.

When You’re the Quiet One at the Table

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Maybe you’ve been there, sitting in a room full of energy and noise, wondering if your silence means you don’t belong.

I know the feeling. It was 2009, and I had just joined the staff of a large, growing church. I had a general understanding of personality types, but didn’t consider myself introverted, at least not consciously. Back then, I didn’t think much about personality at all.

That changed fast.

Every Tuesday, I sat in staff meetings surrounded by seven extroverted pastors. They talked enthusiastically, often over each other, building ideas as they went. I sat back, listening and collecting my thoughts. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it was that I cared too much to speak an idea still taking shape. By the time I had something worth saying, the conversation had moved three items down the agenda.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe you’ve gone entire Tuesdays with staff and never said a word. Maybe you’ve sat through university classes, painfully aware that your final grade depends on “participation,” but unable to force a half-formed thought into the open before the moment passes.

This is one of the quiet frustrations of being an introvert. We want to speak, but not over people. We want to share, but not prematurely. We value words, so we don’t waste them. And often, in church ministry, that makes us feel out of place.

If that’s you, I want you to know: you are not alone.

Whether you’re the life of the potluck or the one quietly refilling the coffee in the back, I believe there’s wisdom here for you. I invite you to share your stories, comment, ask questions, and journey with me. I’ve spent the past decade studying introverted leadership from a Christian perspective, academically, practically, and personally.

In fact, my doctoral dissertation was titled: “An Exploration into the Best Practices for Introverted Pastors Working in a Team Context.” As part of that research, I spoke with dozens of leaders who felt isolated, called to public ministry, but wired for internal reflection.

Oh, and I was fired from that church job. Two years in.

And I’m grateful. Truly.

That painful moment pushed me down a path of self-discovery and allowed me to finally embrace the strengths of introversion. I once believed being quiet disqualified me from pastoral ministry. Now I know better.

The Church needs introverts.
The Church needs extroverts.
And most of all, the Church needs us working together, with grace, patience, and understanding.

Part of why I started this blog is to test the waters. Is there a community of introverted leaders who feel this tension? Would a book on introverted leadership in the Church resonate with you? If so, I’d love to hear from you.

Bookmark the page. Come back often. My hope is to offer something worthwhile, something that encourages your soul and affirms your calling.

Blessings,
Josh