Do you realize that the answer to this question may have everything to do with your attitude toward the season you’re in? It’s easy to bear fruit when life is good, ministry is healthy, and God’s favour is palpable. But can you continue to bear fruit during a “dark night of the soul” kind of season?
I was “let go” from a ministry position in 2011. After two years of struggle and challenge, the church saw its future best without me. It’s true, we had a difference in philosophy of ministry. The larger issue, I have come to believe after years of reflection, is that I was the wrong personality fit. I was an introvert working with 7 extroverted pastors, and I didn’t have the tools at the time to address the misaligned expectations and communication gaps.
During the interim, I still needed to put food on the table for my family. While I struggled to find another ministry position, I took a job in construction.
I was bitter because this was below me.
That was my attitude. I would ask God, Why am I here? Haven’t I served you well? Don’t I deserve a ministry position? I am the most educated person here, but I am at the bottom of the hierarchy! Lord, why have You forsaken me? Why are pastors with less education and less experience getting hired over me?
I was focused solely on myself and what had been taken from me. It wasn’t a healthy place mentally, and when I slowed down to listen to God, He started gently correcting me. He helped me be thankful that we never missed a mortgage payment or even a meal. I was thankful to have the support of my amazing wife. I was thankful to have the opportunity to provide pulpit supply at the church we began attending. There were countless ways that God was blessing us, but I was missing it because I was only focused on what I had lost.
Then came the big question: God, I have been called to pastoral ministry, why have you kept me from my calling?
The answer: You are still a pastor, your church just looks different.
God was clear: if I am called to be a pastor, then I can fulfill that calling, even while building houses. So I made the mental shift and told God, Okay, I will build houses for free, and they will pay me to be their staff pastor. Of course, I didn’t announce that to my foreman, but that shift in attitude changed everything. I went from a pitiful, barren season to a beautiful bearing season.
Let’s be honest, our feelings are not a switch that we can simply turn on or off. Writing about changing my attitude was much simpler than the actual process, but I want to encourage you to do the difficult work.
1. Admit Your Feelings of Self-Pity
Perhaps it’s not even self-pity; maybe it’s something stronger, maybe not quite that strong, but you know your attitude is not helping you. We can’t deal with the problem until we admit there is a problem. If you feel you are in a barren season but you’re not sure why, ask God to reveal it to you.
2. Give it to God
I know, I know, it’s super cliche. That doesn’t make it any less true. I wrote above that I simply made a mental shift, but it wasn’t just about convincing myself that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I had to give my concerns and anger and pride and every other negative feeling to God. He heard my lament and my accusations and my cry for help.
3. Repent of Sin
The Father lovingly revealed to me that I was deep in pride. Funny, isn’t it, that my loss of self-worth was rooted in my pride? So I began the process of repenting, turning away from sin and toward God. It wasn’t quick nor easy, but it was so good. This is the kind of work the Holy Spirit will do in us when we humble ourselves and allow Him to speak into our lives.
4. Walk it Out
This is the tough part.
Why?
Because I had the same construction job. My circumstances hadn’t changed, and my reputation hadn’t revived. It can be difficult to change your attitude when none of the things that brought you to that place have changed. Paul, who wrote those inspiring words, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” was writing from a place of physical stuck-ness, but spiritually victorious. And while we are in desert seasons, we too can bear much fruit, and fruit that will last, through Christ who gives us strength.
The Introverted Pastor 