One of the worst things you can do to an introverted leader is to tell them, “Just hang out and mingle” or “Just show up and help wherever.” It is like telling them to hit a moving target without even describing what it looks like.
I have been in these situations, and I felt lost. I’ve spoken with other introverted pastors who dread these types of work events. We awkwardly make our way around the room, struggling to make small talk with strangers, or even worse, talk to people who have attended our church for five years, but we’ve never actually conversed! Afterward, we reflect on our failures as foyer flourishers and feel the guilt that we can’t work a room like our extroverted counterparts.
The problem is that extroverted pastors often enjoy the freedom to improvise. They flourish in an environment with a lack of structure. One extroverted pastor I spoke with told me that he doesn’t care if the team is moving in the wrong direction, as long as they are moving.
Most introverted pastors are not wired that way. We like structure. We like well-defined goals. We like closed-ended timelines. We flourish when there is a clear bar to hit.
Extroverts like Jazz
I’m not saying that all extroverts love jazz music, but most of them love the concept. Jazz, to me, seems like a lawless, wild adventure with no beginning and no end. My extroverted friends have shared discomfort with the idea of committing to one way of doing things; they want to be surprised by the outcome.
Introverts like Football
Once again, I’m not saying all introverts like to watch football (though I do love to watch CFL and cheer for my Saskatchewan Roughriders). What I mean is this: football has well-defined boundaries. There is a clock to tell you exactly how much time is left. There is a scoreboard to let you know exactly where you stand in the process of completing your goal. Within those rules, there is a great amount of freedom to be creative… within the rules!
What’s Next?
If you are an introverted pastor, it is ok to get clarification. One of the questions I ask during staff meetings is very simple: “Why?” I don’t want to do things just to do things. Why are we doing them? Are they adding to our ministry or simply adding to our schedule? While extroverts on staff can gain excitement and momentum over an idea, sometimes we need to ask the question if this idea is actually worth doing, or it’s just something to do.
If you are an extroverted leader and you want to set up your introverted staff for success, let them know what the “win” is. What are the agreed-upon goals and desired outcomes? How long are we going to work toward the agreed-upon goal before we evaluate? How does this action promote the overall vision and mission of the organization?
And finally, start and end on time. I schedule my time. I am protective of my free time. I’m purposeful with my work time. It is so discouraging if I am at a meeting on time (which is 10 minutes early) and we hit 15 minutes past the start time, and the leader says, “Let’s just wait a few more minutes for everyone to get here.
Nope. Don’t like that. Why are you dishonouring those who showed up on time in order to honour those who didn’t? Why am I staying late for this meeting, squeezing time out of my next scheduled task, because people are late?
Respecting time respects people. Start on time, end on time, and watch how much more energy your introverted leaders bring to the table.
The Introverted Pastor 